IT'S TOO QUIET!

It's too quiet around here! All of the kids - yes, I said ALL of the kids went to Pennsylvania to stay with Grandma Zac, Uncle Mike and Aunt Sheryl for several days. The kids were so excited to go. We think that Sheryl lost her mind when she asked if she could take them home with her and keep them for a week. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in her house right now!

Mom and Dad don't know what to do. No one is calling our name, no one needs to be fed, no fights to break up, no sports activities to drive to, no baths to give...IT'S TOO QUIET!!! We miss our kiddos, but we are going to try to enjoy this week together before Tim's treatment really picks up. They will be back later this week when Grandma and Grandpa Ashmore (Stacie's parents) join us in Connecticut for a few weeks. They are coming to help as Tim's chemo treatments get underway.

This week's schedule is somewhat calm. We are waiting to find out if the stem cells that were collected last week are okay. Because Tim developed an infection during the collection process (not because of the collection, but because of his weakened immune system), there is a possibility that the stem cells will be rejected and he will have to go through another round of collection. Not fun! The stem cells are being checked for infection, and we should know some time this week whether or not they are okay to use. We are praying that the stem cells are good so that the therapy will be able to begin on schedule.

K-5 Graduation

On Thursday night, May 27th, our youngest son, Mark, graduated from Kindergarden at Heritage Baptist Academy. Grandma Zac and Aunt Sheryl were able to be there with us. Mark was very nervous, but was too cute in that funny hat and gown. We are so proud of him! McKayla was also given several academic honors during the awards part of the service. Way to go, McKayla and Mark!

Stem Cell Collection

On Tuesday, May 25, Tim began the stem cell collection process. He had a needle in both arms that was hooked to a machine to collect his stem cells. One side was taking the blood out, circulating it through a machine that separated it into different components, ultimately seeking to collect as many stem cells as possible. The goal was to collect 10 MILLION stem cells! This procedure was difficult for Tim because he had to sit still for over 4 hours! He could not move one arm at all, and he had very limited use of his other arm. We were told this procedure could take anywhere from 2-5 days. This was pure torture for someone who is very active and does not like to be pinned down! After only TWO days, we had success. They did not get 10 million cells, but they came close enough that he didn't have to go back for a 3rd or 4th day. HALLELUJAH!!!

There were some uncomfortable side effects during this procedure - it has been a rough week. Tim also developed an infection during the collection that has required another course of anitbiotics. One of the results of having so many rounds of chemo is that the body's immune system is weakened. He has not felt well at all this week.

Tim has not had the energy to put into preparing a sermon that he needs and is not sure how he is going to feel on Sunday. We have been praying about having someone take the morning service for him. God had already providentially prepared for this - Pastor Aspray had planned to be in our service this week and is ready and willing to preach. It is so comforting to know that God is ahead of us and taking care of us each step of the way.

Stem Cell Therapy

GREAT NEWS!!!

At the end of April, Tim was told that he was ready for the stem cell therapy. The oncologist was very pleased with how well he responded to the new chemo drugs. His myeloma percentages went from 60% down to 5%! Praise the Lord! That is a huge drop!! Our goal was to get below 20% in order to begin the stem cell procedure.

On Friday, May 21, he began receiving injections of a drug that made his body produce more stem cells. He received these injections on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. On Monday, he also received another drug that would release the stem cells from the bone marrow and into the blood stream so that they could collect the stem cells through a blood draw.

On June 7 and 8, Tim will receive high doses of chemotherapy that will kill his bone marrow. He will have to be closely monitored because this will put him at risk of infection, fever, etc. (If this occurs, he will have to be hospitalized.) On June 9th, they will infuse his treated stem cells back into his body with the goal that they will return to the bone and grow new marrow - this should force the cancer into remission. The bone marrow only takes about 10 day to begin to grow, but the recovery time is anywhere from 2-6 months. June 6th is Tim's last day to preach for a few months. Not preaching may be harder on Tim than the side effects of this treatment! He has a passion for preaching God's Word and a deep love for the folks of CBC. It will be very hard for him to be away.

God has provided a pastor to fill in for Tim during the time he is away. Pastor John Aspray from Rhode Island will come down each week and conduct the services for CBC and ensure that the church continues to run smoothly. We are grateful to Pastor Aspray and his willingness to help us during these next few months.

Prayer Requests:

• that the cancer will go into a deep, long remission


• for Tim as he goes through this treatment and has to endure some difficult side effects


• for Stacie as she takes care of Tim and tries to keep things as "normal" as possible for the children


• for our kids- Matthew (17), Michael (13), McKayla (6), and Mark (5) - as they watch their daddy go through this difficult time


• our extended family as they come to help with the kids and other responsibilities
  
• for our church family to continue to grow and walk with the Lord while their pastor is away

Jeremiah 17:7 "Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is."

Benefits

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation." Psalm 68:19

A pastor friend of ours came to our church to preach for Tim on a few Sunday nights in March, 2010. He began to come when Tim started his new chemo drug and just needed some help getting through Sundays. The new chemo caused extreme fatigue. This friend preached a message that has stuck with me and has been a tremendous help to me.

Psalm 68:19 tells us that the Lord daily loads us with benefits. Now in my mind, a benefit is something that is GOOD - something that I enjoy. However, the true meaning of the word benefit in this verse is not necessarily something that I will enjoy; it is something that will benefit me...that may be good or it may be hard or painful. Getting a cavity filled may be painful, but it is beneficial to me. Cleaning a wound may be painful for me, but it is beneficial to my health. Going through trials in our lives may be painful, but the outcome is beneficial for me. I need to look at the hard times as beneficial to me. They are meant to strengthen me, increase my faith, and take me to a higher place in my walk with the Lord.

The verse also says that He LOADS us with benefits. Sometimes these benefits are pleasurable and sometimes these "benefits" are hard and heavy to bear. But in the end, they all are benefits and they come frequently throughout my day. These truths have spoken to me and help me to look at the difficult days in a different light.

Dear Lord, my heart's desire is to please You, so I thank you for daily loading me with benefits! Whether humanly they are perceived as "good" or "bad," help me to receive these benefits with thanksgiving, knowing they are all for my good. Please work these truths into my heart.

40% to 60%

One of the tests that the oncologist did to determine that Tim did in fact have multiple myeloma was a bone marrow extraction. This is because multiple myeloma lives in the bone marrow, so it is one of the more reliable tests to determine what is going on. Bone marrow extraction is quite painful, so they don't like to do it very often. The results of the first bone marrow test showed 40% myeloma cells in Tim's body. From then on, he would have blood tests to determine whether the chemo was doing it's job.

For a while the chemo seemed to be working, but then the blood tests became inconclusive and the oncologists were having a difficult time determining what was happening. His cancer was not behaving like the text books say it should - does it ever? Tim was still having several symptoms that he shouldn't have been having; and during another MRI to look at the main tumor, they found more lesions on his spinal column. The oncologist said Tim's was a tougher case than usual.
So in February, after being on the chemo for about 4 months, the doctors decided they should extract more bone marrow. This test showed negative results - the myeloma had increased from 40% to 60%.

This news was very discouraging for us - Tim was determined that he would be able to start the stem cell therapy around February or March. We had a hard time processing this "bad" news. Of course this wasn't bad news in the Lord's eyes - this was part of the plan. But humanly speaking, this was not good. We were trusting the Lord to use the medications to get Tim ready for stem cell therapy, and instead he was facing a harsher chemo and more difficult side effects.

We had to continue to rest in the goodness of the Lord and remember that everything that was happening was part of His plan to get glory from our lives and make us more like Him. It's not about us, it's about Him and His will. The Lord gave us several confirmations during that time that He cares for us and is with us through the storm.

We received so many cards, letters and e-mails and phone calls during this time... it was overwhelming. We also received several financial gifts to help with expenses. Our church family brought meals, gave gift cards to the grocery store and restaurants and kept the kids when that was needed. All of these gestures helped to remind us that we are not alone. We continue to receive cards and e-mails, almost every day. It means so much to know that folks are concerned and are praying for Tim.

Psalm 62:5 "My soul wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him."

A Horse of a Different Color

During the rounds of radiation, the oncologist placed Tim on a series of medications. One was a chemotherapy drug that he just took at home each day. To his great pleasure, Tim did not loose his hair on this drug!! (We Zacharias' have a thing about hair and he was very concerned that he would loose his! ;) He was also placed on a steroid drug to go along with the chemo. The steroid is supposed to help with nausea, but it's main purpose is to cause your body to grow new bone. Multiple myeloma lives in the bone marrow, but attacks the bones from the inside out. The tumor that attacked Tim's bone has basically eaten it from the inside out. His spinal column is now weakened and he has to be very careful not to lift anything over 15-20 pounds.

Anyway, the steroid was helping to grow new bone - it will never be at the strength that it was before the cancer, but it could help. Well, the steroid did funny things to Tim. Besides having cold sweats and a racing heart, he became the "horse of a different color" from the Wizard of Oz! After receiving the Decadron treatment, he would turn white as a sheet for several hours; then his skin would look yellow, like he had jaundice. Several hours later, he would look wind-burned...his skin would have a reddish tint to it. Finally, the color changing would stop and he would regain his normal skin color. This whole color-changing process would take a little over 24 hours.

It was kind of funny to watch the process and we got a laugh out of it. There were a few occasions when he would ask the doctors to re-schedule the shot or allow him to get it eary - he was trying to work around having to visit people. He didn't want to alarm people with the way he looked - especially when he was yellow!

20 days of radiation (Sept-Oct 2009)

For as long as I have known Tim, I have never seen him get sick to his stomach. During the days when he was receiving radiation, he was sick. The beam that was working to shrink the tumor was also grazing his stomach and that is what caused the nausea. He had little to no appetite as well, and ended up losing 22 pounds during the course of treatment. It also made him very tired. He was only able to work 1/2 of a day and then would have to lay down for a long afternoon nap.

During those difficult days, you have to find humor some where or you may loose your mind - we kept talking about the fact that now Tim knew how I felt during my pregnancies. I was so very sick all the way through to delivery. While it's not something I wish on anyone, Tim has a whole new appreciation for how awful I felt. It was a little running joke that we had between each other.

The results of the radiation were good results. After a couple of months, the pain began to subside and Tim was gradually able to manage the pain better and decrease his medication. He still required pain meds to sleep and to preach each Sunday (standing for long periods made the pain worse). Our church people talked about how his sermons kept getting better and better -even on the medication. God gave grace and allowed him to preach passionately every Sunday during the radiation treatments. Mondays were very hard because of all the energy he had exherted the day before. I did my best to keep him laying low --but I didn't have much success! Tim is a go-getter and was determined not to let this get him down!

~Stacie

Happy 10th Anniversary CBC!

The next few weeks were full of visits to different doctor's offices. Our dear friends, Dr. Jim and his wife, Kendra, put us in contact with a radiation oncologist who took on Tim's case with great fervor and worked Tim into the schedule of the radiation department. This doctor then got us an appointment with the medical oncologist, who began the chemo and other treatments to begin attacking the cancer. The goal of the treatments was to force the cancer to it's lowest possible levels (remission). At the time of diagnosis, Tim's multiple myeloma levels were at 40%. Our goal was to get to below 20% so that he could have the stem cell replacement therapy. Tim had to have 20 treatments of radiation to attack the larger tumor. He was also placed on several medications.

On September 19, 2009, we had two amazing services for the 10th anniversary celebration of our church, Community Baptist Church of Branford, Connecticut. We planted CBC in September of 1999 (http://www.cbcbranford.org/) and it was such a glorious day to look back on all that God had done for us over the last 10 years. Many friends and people from the community joined us - we were packed into our little building! Ray and Ann Gibbs, two amazing people who happened to have beautiful voices, joined us to sing and our friends Mark and Bethany Crawford came as well. Mark played the piano and accompanied the Gibbs as they sang powerful songs of testimony and praise.

We had a celebration banquet that evening at a local restaurant. Several pastors from around Connecticut joined us in support, and most of our church family was there as well. It was a powerful service as the pastors came forward and laid hands on Tim, praying for healing, but most of all for God's will to be done in Tim's life. We also showed a powerpoint presentation that highlighted many of the events over the last 10 years, and focused on the people that have been touched through the ministry of CBC.

It was very significant to us that as we entered this dark valley, the Lord caused us to take a day and look back on how He had been with us during the ups and downs of the last 10 years and we could be assured that He would be there in the difficult days ahead. Although Tim was in a tremendous amount of pain that day, he was rejoicing in all that God has done for us. It was a day that we will never forget.




Several area pastors, their wives and children that attended




Ray and Ann Gibbs - and - Mark and Bethany Crawford



Mark relaxing after a long day!

Working His Good Will

In February of 2009, Tim began having some back pain. We didn't think much of it as it would come and go. Then in April, we took a long road trip to Georgia to see Stacie's parents, and the entire trip was very uncomfortable for Tim. He vowed we would never drive that far again! He had been seeing a chiropractor, and had benefited from the treatments in the past; however, this time the pain just kept getting more and more intense throughout the summer.

Toward the end of August, his pain became so intense that at times, he could not walk. His back would "lock up" on him and he would lie on the floor in excruciating pain for two or three hours at a time. After this happened several times, we decided that he should have an MRI to determine if he had some kind of problem with a disc in his lower back.

Tim had been seeing a Christian chiropractor (who is also a member of our church)- Dr. Jim loves the Lord and loves his pastor. He was very concerned for Tim, and he and his wife helped us get the MRI ordered and completed quickly. They even worked on getting the results of the MRI ASAP!

Later that evening, Dr. Jim called us with the news. There was a mass of abnormal tissue on Tim's lower spinal column that had completely engulfed one of his vertebrae and was causing the intense pain. There was also another smaller tumor in the middle of his back...and the diagnosis was not good. It looked to be one of three kinds of cancers and more tests would be needed to determine exactly which cancer it was. We asked if there was any possibility that it could just be a slipped or herniated disc...the answer came back, "No, there are not any other options on this report." Dr. Jim was so good with us - very gentle and very concerned. We sensed that he was hurting with us. It was a blessing that God allowed us to hear this devastating news from a fellow believer who could speak words of comfort from the Scripture and pray with us as we tried to wrap our head around what we were told.

We both felt numb when we got off the phone. This wasn't even on our list of possibilities when considering where Tim's back pain was coming from. Of course, we cried and prayed and cried some more. Obviously, this was devastating news and we weren't quite sure how to process it. The news came late on Friday night, so we had to wait until the beginning of the next week to start making appointments for the needed tests. We had to tell our children, our families, and also our church family. Those conversations were very difficult.

The next week, Tim had several tests and it was confirmed that, at 43 years of age, he had multiple myeloma. This is a cancer of the blood plasma that attacks your bones. He would need to begin 20 days of radiation to try to shrink the larger tumor on his spine, and hopefully ease some of his pain; and he would begin chemotherapy to attack the smaller tumor and the cancer in his blood. All of this came as we were planning and preparing for our church's 10th anniversary celebration. The verse that kept coming to us during these days was Philippians 2:13 which says, "For it is God which worketh in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure." God's will is best for us, even when we cannot see what His plan is. We had to rest in the truth of this verse and know that He was going to use this in our lives for His glory and our good.